I am always amazed at all the ways and places God speaks to me. It can be in the most unsuspecting places. What is even more amazing, is when you hear his voice so loud and clear that there is no doubt it is Him! I experienced this last month at a high school graduation. While we attended several graduations during May, it was at a high school graduation of one of our past students at Vision Christian Academy. She was graduating from a Christian school in Ocala. It was a very nice ceremony and I enjoyed every aspect of it. However, the guest speaker used the analogy of the butterfly breaking out of the chrysalis to that of seniors stepping out into the real world to forge their way and make their own mistakes. I have heard the story several times about how if you help the butterfly tear open and break out of the chrysalis instead of letting it struggle through on its own, it will not be able to survive. So all this was not new to me. While I know that I still try to teach and advise Jack in every area I get the opportunity, I also make a point to present the facts and let him make his own decisions right or wrong. He doesn’t always follow my advice or choose what I would like for him to, but I at least am satisfied that I laid out the choices and consequences. As parents, I think most of us want to be able to spare our children the hurts and pains that life brings. As I have told Jack on many occasions, I know that as much as I would love to, I can’t protect him from everything. As I sat there and listened to the speaker, I heard God’s voice say “it’s time to really let go, if he falls on his face so be it. He will learn from it! It is necessary in order for him to survive once you are gone!” He didn’t say anything that I didn’t already know, but it hit me in the pit of my stomach and I thought I was going to have a panic attack!
Over the next few days, He dealt with me on this issue. It was a very scary feeling every time I thought about it. God showed me things that I needed to change. He even opened up the door to a conversation that Jack and I had where he was able to vent some things as well as I. I think it was good for both of us. I have always taught him that he can say anything to us that he wants as long as it is respectful. Expressing himself is very difficult for him due to his expressive language disorder. We work together daily and it will take a conscious effort on both our parts to make some changes. However, I am confident that God will see us both through if we will trust in Him. I know that this is where I have to “Let go and let God”. As I am obedient in letting go, I will have to turn to just praying over Jack and “let God” take over from here!